What If?

Have you ever found yourself playing the “what if” game? It’s a game most of us are familiar with, often without even realizing it. But here’s a critical question: when you play this game, are you doing so with a positive mindset or a negative one?

From a young age, we are often conditioned — by parents, family, school, and society — to brace ourselves for the worst while hoping for the best. This conditioning can lead many of us to approach the “what if” game from a place of fear and negativity, simply because that’s what we’ve been taught.

Recently, my area experienced Tropical Storm Debby, and I saw this “prepare for the worst” mindset everywhere. It wasn’t just in individual people; it was pervasive across schools, city and county departments, and in general conversation. It felt like we were on the brink of an apocalypse, all because of the relentless “what if” questions. What if the roads flood? What if trees fall? What if I can’t get home? What if the power goes out? What if my house floods? What if my gutters fail? What if I have to go out in this weather? What if we have a tornado? The list went on and on, spiraling into a vortex of fear and anxiety.

This experience got me thinking about the power of these “what if” scenarios and the role of fear in shaping our responses. Paul Selig and his channeled guides, who I highly recommend, delve into this topic in several of his books. He makes a vital distinction between fear and prudence. According to his guides, the action of fear is to create more fear. Every time we make a choice out of fear, we invite more fear into our lives. Think about the last decision you made out of fear — did it bring you peace, or did it just amplify your anxiety? The guides suggest that instead of making choices rooted in fear, we should focus on prudent decisions, which are grounded in wisdom and safety, not in the paralyzing grip of fear.

For instance, it’s prudent to stay away from a hungry tiger. However, it’s fear that makes us irrationally conclude that all tigers are evil, that we should avoid entire continents where tigers live, or that we should never visit zoos because tigers are there. Fear isn’t rational; it’s limiting. It operates on a low vibration and keeps us stuck.

The guides also highlight that fear doesn’t have the ability to transcend itself. It exists on a certain level, and to rise above it, we must move beyond it. Imagine living in a basement apartment with small transom windows — your view is dark and limited. Now, someone tells you to try living on the 20th floor. You move up, and suddenly, your view is expansive, filled with light and opportunity. But instead of embracing this new perspective, you find yourself compelled to return to the basement. Why? Because you left some things there, maybe old memories, unresolved issues, or fears that you’re not ready to let go of. So, you go back, even though it brings you back into darkness and limitation. This is how fear operates; it pulls us back into the familiar, even if that familiarity makes us unhappy.

This led me to question: Why do we keep reclaiming fear? Why do we always ask, “What if the worst happens?” I know that fear’s sole purpose is to recreate itself, but how can we break this cycle?

Let’s reconsider those “what if” statements from the storm, but from a different perspective. What if the media is just trying to create drama and scare me? What if the storm isn’t as bad as they say? What if I choose not to buy into the hype? What if I take prudent steps, like ensuring my gutters and downspouts are clear, but then let go of the fear? What if I limit my exposure to constant news updates and rely on an app to notify me of any real danger? What if this storm gives me the chance to slow down, stay in, and read a book I’ve been meaning to get to? What if it’s an opportunity to watch that movie I’ve been wanting to see? What if, in the end, I’m safe? What if everything works out?

If those statements feel like too much of a stretch, you can soften them with “maybe.” Maybe the storm won’t be that bad. Maybe I’ll be safe. Maybe everything will work out. Either way, just try it!

The next time that negative voice starts to creep in, try saying, “Thank you, but I don’t need you anymore. I appreciate you trying to keep me safe, but I’m choosing a higher perspective now.” By doing this, you stop the cycle of fear from recreating itself.

Finally, I came across something recently that perfectly encapsulates this idea: worrying is just rehearsing the very thing you don’t want to happen. Why would you do that? Why would you bring that energy into your life? Instead, let’s rehearse the best-case scenario and bring that positive energy into our lives.